i don't get how people can be bumptious for so long. it really can be tiring. think about it. everything you ever thought about yourself, has been built on by your achievements of the past, and you can't fall short. not ever. else you'd crash and burn.

i want to take it even easier. i see people, blithe, and i crave that. i know i have a great God, and a promised future and hope, i know that. but somehow, when crunch time comes, it's hard. it's hard. it's just hard. to be in such an undeserving state and realize that only the grace of God can pull me through. it's just hard. hard. but it's true. basing my success on tangibles? that's totally unfounded. totally. but i can't help it. and i shouldn't. not ever. for my God will raise me up together with Christ and His finished work to show His glory.

i'm just tired.
i need to spend more time in the Word.

Keep me in prayer.